FCS3-130
Congratulations, you have a new baby! And you are a new parent!
What’s it like to be a new parent? Do you sometimes feel that you will never sleep through the night again? Are you a little nervous about taking care of this helpless but demanding baby? Do you feel tired, but excited too? If you answer yes to any of these questions, then you are like most new parents. Remember one thing: you are not alone.
There are many changes that take place and new things to learn when you become a parent. It doesn’t happen overnight.There will be good times and bad times, and you and your baby will survive them all.
This issue of Parent Express and those that follow describe a typical child at each age. Each child is special, and each develops at his or her own pace. Perfectly normal children may do things earlier or later than what’s described in Parent Express. If you are concerned about your child’s development, see your doctor.
Parent Express gives equal time and space to both sexes. That’s why we sometimes refer to children as he and at other times as she. Please remember that when we use he or she, we include all children.
Sometimes fathers feel shy about touching their babies. Others are willing to try, even if they feel all thumbs.
Knowing how to care for a baby takes time and practice. Give yourself a chance—pretty soon you will feel like you’ve been a father all your life.
Most babies set up their own fairly regular feeding times. Some babies may like to eat every four hours, others are ready to eat every three hours, and some prefer eating more often than that. Newborn babies drink only breast milk and water or iron-fortified formula and water.
Some babies like to sleep for longer periods during the day than at night. If your baby is a lengthy day time sleeper and stays awake most of the night, you can reverse this pattern. Try waking him up for feeding instead of letting him sleep for long periods during the day.
You can get a good idea of your baby’s feeding pattern by noting the times when he seems to be hungry. You also will learn to recognize the hunger cry. Your baby may not be hungry every time he is fussy. He may need burping, a diaper change, or a drink of water—or he may just want to be held.
Relax. Being tense and uptight affects the natural flow of milk. You can sit in a chair or lie down, whichever is more comfortable for you. Positioning yourself with pillows will help. Your baby’s nursing helps your milk flow. Don’t rush. Take your time. This is a learning experience for both of you.
During the first few days, your nipples may be slightly tender from your baby’s sucking. As you learn to relax and your milk flows freely, the soreness will disappear. If your breasts remain sore, it may be that they are extra full of milk. Nursing your baby long enough and often enough to empty both breasts helps. Or you may have too much milk so that your breasts leak a little. If this happens, tuck a clean handkerchief or a breast pad in your bra. You also may apply a warm washcloth to the breast and then gently squeeze some milk from it to relieve the pressure.
Your initial breast milk is yellow-colored and called colostrum. It provides nutrients to the baby and helps prevent some infections and allergies. After a few days, your breast milk changes to a white color.
Remind yourself that the time you spend relaxing and enjoying your new baby is important for both of you. Continue eating a healthy diet and drinking six to eight glasses of liquid per day.
If you are interested in breast-feeding, you can get more information from your healthcare provider or WIC nutritionist.
If you decide to bottle feed your baby, use an iron-fortified formula. Formulas usually are made from cow’s milk or other special products to meet the needs of a growing baby. There are three different types of formula:
Whichever formula you use, follow instructions carefully. Make sure that bottles and nipples are washed and clean. Your healthcare provider or WIC nutritionist can review preparation and sterilization with you. Never microwave your baby’s bottle.
When you bottle feed your baby, keep the nipple full of formula so he doesn’t swallow air. Hold your baby close with his head up. Don’t leave your baby alone with the bottle propped up, and don’t put him to bed with a bottle. Burp the newborn after every 2 ounces.
Ask your health care provider when you may offer your baby a bottle of water. Don’t add sugar to the water unless prescribed by your doctor. Don’t give flavored drinks, soda pop, or even fruit juice to a newborn. Some fruit juices, such as apple juice, provide empty calories without added nutrition.
Babies learn through playing games. Games are more than just fun. They teach babies to:
Play with your baby by quietly talking, singing or reading to her, or smiling at her. Even though she is a newborn, she will respond by listening to you and will love the attention. As she grows older, she will reward you with a smile, a coo, or a gurgle and will try to reach for you.
Save the front page of the newspaper on the day your baby was born and any public announcement of his birth. Use these items to start a memory book. You can use a scrapbook or a school-size notebook or make your own book. You can make it as fancy or as simple as you like.
Paste in the front page of the newspaper and the birth announcement. Later he can look at it and see all the things that were happening on that important day.
Write down all the great firsts in your baby’s life—the first time he smiles, walks, talks, sits up, or crawls.
Write down dates and symptoms of illnesses, dates of shots or immunizations, monthly weight and height, how many teeth and when he gets them, and his blood type. If you have photographs of your baby, you can put them in, too. As he grows older, include drawings that he makes. You can note the things he learns, what he likes and doesn’t like, and clever comments he makes in his early years.
The memory book is one way your child can learn about his roots and about himself. It will not only give him much enjoyment, but also will also serve as a good record of his early years.
Find out what child care is offered in your community or county. Decide what you can afford and what you feel is best for your baby and you.
Avoid, if possible, child care arrangements for which you have to travel a long way or rush from work or school to pick up your child.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions of child care providers to put your mind at ease, including “What would you do in an emergency?” “What will you do if my baby cries a lot?” “What do I do if my baby is sick?” and “Do I have to make other arrangements on those days my child is sick?” Make sure you feel comfortable with the child care center or the sitter you choose.
Birckmayer, Jennifer, Kathryn Mabb, Bonnie Jo Westendorf, and Jerridith Wilson (1996). Teens as parents of babies and toddlers: A resource guide for educators. Ithaca, New York: Cornell Cooperative Extension Service.
Brazelton, T. Berry, M.D. (1992). Touchpoints: Your child’s emotional and behavioral development. Reading, Massachusetts: Addison-Wesley.
Gnatuk, Carole A. and Sam Quick (2000). Keys to great parenting: Teach self- control, Key No. 6. Lexington, Kentucky: Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service.
Greenman, Jim and Anne Stonehouse (1996). Prime times: A handbook for excellence in infant and toddler programs. Saint Paul, Minnesota: Red Leaf Press.
Greenspan, Stanley, M.D. (1999). Building healthy minds. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Perseus Books.
Herr, Judy and Terri Swim (1999). Creative resources for infants and toddlers. Albany, New York: Delmar.
Lerner, Claire and Amy Laura Dombro (2000). Learning and growing together: Understanding and supporting your child’s development. Washington, D.C.: Zero to Three. Phone: 1-800-899-4301.
Pruett, Kyle D. (2000). Fatherneed: Why father care is as essential as mother care for your child. Washington, D.C.: Zero to Three. Phone: 1-800-899-4301.
Shelov, Steven P., M.D., M.S., F.A.A.P. (editor in chief) (1998). Your baby’s first year. New York: Bantam Books/American Academy of Pediatrics.
Snow, Charles W. (1998). Infant development (2nd ed.). Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Prentice Hall.
Carole A. Gnatuk, Ed.D., Extension Child Development Specialist
Sam Quick, Ph.D., Extension Human Development and Family Relations Specialist
Sandra Bastin, Ph.D., R.D., L.D., Extension Food and Nutrition Specialist
From a publication originally written by Dorothea Cudaback, D.S.W., and colleagues at the University of California Cooperative Extension.
Professionals at the University of Kentucky who have assisted in the preparation of the Parent Express series: Sandra Bastin, Ph.D., R.D., L.D.; Donna Clore, M.S.; Ruth Ann Crum, M.S.; Darlene Forester, Ph.D., R.D.; Starr Gantz, R.D.; Carole Gnatuk, Ed.D.; Peter Hesseldenz, M.A.; Janet Kurzynske, Ph.D., R.D.; Suzanne McGough, M.S., R.D.; Larry Piercy, Ph.D.; Sam Quick, Ph.D.; Michael Rupured, M.S.; Diane Strangis, M.S.; Janet Tietyen, Ph.D., R.D., L.D.
Parent Express guides you through parenting of children through age 36 months. For other publications in the 27-part series, contact your county Cooperative Extension Service office.