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When you feel good, your baby does too!
You have plenty of reasons for feeling good about yourself. You have done a great job of raising this 9-month-old. And of course, if you feel good about yourself, your baby will feel good about herself, too.
When you feel good about the type of person you are, you can tackle almost anything. That’s why it’s important to cheer your baby on when she tries new things. Every time there is a first in her life—crawling, walking, talking, hitting a ball—praise her and give her the self-confidence she needs. These are all big accomplishments for her.
Does your baby hold most foods while eating, drink from a cup (with a little help), or hold and lick the spoon after it is dipped in food? These are his first steps in learning to eat by himself. You can help him practice by giving him finger foods such as pieces of soft cheese, bits of soft toast, graham crackers, cooked vegetable strips or slices, or dry, ready-to-eat cereal squares or rounds. These foods will easily break up or dissolve in his mouth. Try not to feed your baby french fries or other salty, fried foods.
Praise your baby while he is feeding himself, even if he is very messy. If the mess really bothers you, spread some newspapers under his chair to catch any food that drops.
Some mothers decide to wean their babies from the breast or bottle about now. Others wait until later on. When you decide to wean your baby, do so gradually over a period of several weeks. Your baby still needs to drink either breast milk or 24 ounces of iron-fortified formula each day. During the weaning period, be sure to give your baby some extra hugs and kisses.
Although you may find unseasoned foods bland or tasteless, your baby does not. By now your little one can eat most of the things you cook for the rest of the family. Just take out your baby’s food before you add salt or other seasonings for them.
Be careful not to give your baby small, hard pieces of food he could choke on, such as grapes, nuts, seeds, pieces of raw vegetables, popcorn, or round slices of hot dog. Hot dogs are not good for babies for another reason—they are not nutritious, because they contain many additives and lots of fat. However, if you decide to serve hot dogs, for safety cut them in narrow, lengthwise strips then cut the strips crosswise into small pieces before handing them to your baby. Try “hot dogs” made from turkey or soy as healthier choices.
This game helps your baby learn that everything has a name. It encourages your baby to imitate the sounds you make when you are naming objects.
Note: Your baby will not understand all the words you use. However, he will hear the different tones of your voice and remember often-repeated words. His rapidly developing brain will soon connect the word sounds to the object you point to. Connecting word sounds and objects helps him become aware of language.
For babies under a year old, discipline is pretty simple. It means teaching limits through loving care and guidance. The key to this teaching is reward.
Reward your baby when he does something you approve of; distract him when he does something you don’t like. For example, when your baby makes sounds and tries to talk, reward him with a smile. When he does something annoying or touches something you don’t want him to have, distract him by offering another toy or direct his attention to something else.
Slapping your baby will not teach him to be good. He won’t even know why he is being hit. Instead, he will learn that he should be afraid of you and that it’s OK to hit others. Then, when he grows up, he will think that it’s OK to hit his own children.
Sometimes your baby will not be happy with the decisions you make and will fuss. You may be tempted to give in to his demands, but keep in mind that setting limits is necessary for your child’s safety and welfare.
It is possible to set limits while allowing your child the freedom to explore and grow. Stick to those limits and be firm in your guidance. Even when setting limits, your baby knows that you care for him.
It’s easy to get caught up in day-to-day routines and pressures and overlook the need for a special time for you and your baby. Set aside a special time each day—a time when you can give your baby undivided attention with no interruptions.
The length of time is up to you. Even a small amount of time—perhaps 15 minutes a day—can be time to enjoy and appreciate each other.
How can you spend this special time? Sing, read, play, or listen to music. Relax together. Cuddle. Enjoy just being together.
To help your baby understand how much time you’ll have together, point to the clock to show when this special time will start and end. As your baby gets older, she will eagerly look forward to this pocket of time for just the two of you.
By working to form this bond of love between you, you are actually encouraging your child’s brain development and her ability to learn over the long term.
My mother is always telling me how to care for my baby. I know she means well, but I get really upset when she questions everything I do. How can I talk to her about this without hurting her feelings?
Relatives, especially grandparents, can be very special people in your baby’s life. This is especially true if you are a single parent, a teenage parent, or you live at home. Grandparents can provide warmth, security, and loving care for your baby. But sometimes they think they know what’s best for your baby, and they try to tell you what to do every step of the way.
If this happens often, talk openly with them about your feelings. Discuss your feelings about child rearing. Listen to their ideas and gently remind them that you are your baby’s parent and are directly responsible for your child. Let them know that they play an important role in the growth of your child, so that they won’t feel you are casting them out. Come to an understanding of what the grandparent relationship means for your baby as well as for you. Let them know how you want to raise your child, with their help. w
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Brazelton, T. Berry, M.D. (1992). Touchpoints: Your child’s emotional and behavioral development. Reading, Massachusetts: Addison-Wesley.
Gnatuk, Carole A. and Sam Quick (2000). Keys to great parenting: Teach self-control, Key No. 6. Lexington, Kentucky: Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service.
Greenspan, Stanley, M.D. (1999). Building healthy minds. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Perseus Books.
Herr, Judy and Terri Swim (1999). Creative resources for infants and toddlers. Albany, New York: Delmar.
Lerner, Claire and Amy Laura Dombro (2000). Learning and growing together: Understanding and supporting your child’s development. Washington, D.C.: Zero to Three. Phone: 1-800-899-4301.
Pruett, Kyle D. (2000). Fatherneed: Why father care is as essential as mother care for your child. Washington, D.C.: Zero to Three. Phone: 1-800-899-4301.
Schickedanz, Judith A. (1999). Much more than the ABC’s: The early stages of reading and writing. Washington, D.C.: National Association for the Education of Young Children.
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Carole A. Gnatuk, Ed.D., Extension Child Development Specialist
Sam Quick, Ph.D., Extension Human Development and Family Relations Specialist
Sandra Bastin, Ph.D., R.D., L.D., Extension Food and Nutrition Specialist
From a publication originally written by Dorothea Cudaback, D.S.W., and colleagues at the University of California Cooperative Extension. Professionals at the University of Kentucky who have assisted in the preparation of the Parent Express series:
Sandra Bastin, Ph.D., R.D., L.D.; Donna Clore, M.S.; Ruth Ann Crum, M.S.; Darlene Forester, Ph.D., R.D.; Starr Gantz, R.D.; Carole Gnatuk, Ed.D.; Peter Hesseldenz, M.A.; Janet Kurzynske, Ph.D., R.D.; Suzanne McGough, M.S., R.D.; Larry Piercy, Ph.D.; Sam Quick, Ph.D.; Michael Rupured, M.S.; Diane Strangis, M.S; Janet Tietyen, Ph.D., R.D., L.D.
Parent Express guides you through parenting of children through age 36 months. For other publications in the 27-part series, contact your county Cooperative Extension Service office.