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When in doubt, use your own judgment.
You may feel bombarded with advice from many sources. Since the “experts” are sometimes not in agreement, you may be confused when one person tells you one thing and someone else tells you another.
If you have been overloaded with advice, stop for a minute and back up. Summon your own resources. Do what you think is best. You have done an outstanding job as a parent so far. Rely on yourself and keep up the good work.
I know it isn’t easy being a parent, and I do demand a lot from you. But don’t forget that it isn’t easy being a baby, either!
Now that I’m growing older, I’m going through a lot of new experiences. You can help me by trying to understand what upsets me.
Don’t worry when I get scared. Fear sometimes is the price I have to pay for learning about myself and about the world in which I live. I get tense when I have to face new situations such as strangers, animals, the dark, or being separated from you. I cry because I can’t tell you what’s frightening me.
Here are some fears I have and ways you can help me live with them:
Fear of Falling—When I crawl around, I may go too fast and fall on my face. I start to cry and look at you. Please comfort me and tell me everything is ok. A gentle pat on my back and a smile also make me feel better.
Fear of the Dark—Sometimes I wake up at night in a dark room, and no one is around. I start thinking that I’m all alone, and I don’t like that feeling. Come in and talk to me for a few minutes. Or, leave a small light on so I can see there’s nothing to be afraid of.
Fear of Separation—When you leave, I start to howl. That’s because I think you, the most important person in my life, are leaving me for good. A few brief words of love while telling me that you will return helps me feel better. After a while, I will learn that you always come back for me.
Fear of Objects—Don’t be surprised if an appliance such as a vacuum cleaner or hair dryer that never bothered me before suddenly makes me cry. Now that I am becoming more aware, I won’t feel so scared if you hold me while you show me how the machine works.
Fear of Animals—Please keep dogs and cats away from me until I get more used to animals. When you look at a dog or a cat, you see a dog or a cat. But when I look, I see a giant beast. If you cuddle me and hold me close, I will feel safe.
Some Tips for You
Love, Baby
My daughter crawls around and pulls everything out of cupboards and drawers. I feel I should let her explore, but I am worried that this will become a bad habit if I don’t do anything about it. What do you suggest?
Don’t worry yet about your baby getting into bad habits, because babies at this age create clutter. A healthy10-month-old is only doing what comes naturally at this age—exploring. She pulls things out of drawers, turns furniture over, drags toys all over the house, and examines anything she can touch. She is not doing it to spite you or any other member of your family. She is just going through a normal stage of development.
Place items that are OK for your child to pull out and play with in floor-level cupboards and drawers. Remove things you don’t want her to touch and put them out of her reach. Remove to an off-limits area, furniture that could fall over.
My baby likes to take off all her clothes wherever and whenever she can. How can I stop her from doing this?
Some 1-year-olds enjoy undressing themselves for the sheer pleasure of practicing a new skill. They also like the freedom of taking off shoes and socks and then working their way up until they are bare. Some babies like to take off their nightclothes and throw them out of the crib or bed. Of course, if they have a bowel movement during the night, the bed will be quite a mess.
Discourage your baby from playing this new game by putting her clothes on backwards, especially at night. A zipper on a sleeping bag or fasteners that are situated in back make it harder for little hands to undo.
Most babies don’t learn to use a spoon well until after their first birthday, and they need practice. Since the food a baby tries to pick up with a spoon sometimes lands on the floor, try yogurt, applesauce, mashed potatoes, cooked cereal (oatmeal, cream of rice or wheat), cottage cheese, macaroni and cheese, and mashed cooked beans. These are foods that stick to the spoon when scooped up, and your baby can enjoy them while practicing his spoon skills. To make eating easier, try offering your baby a spoon with a curved or looped handle. Place old newspapers, a piece of a shower curtain, or a plastic tablecloth under his chair to catch messes. Research shows that new foods should be offered five to 10 times to encourage their acceptance. If your baby rejects a food after repeated offerings, he probably really does not like that food.
Make mealtimes happy, not frustrating. Hungry babies want to eat. It’s up to parents and other caregivers to help babies develop a good attitude about food. With praise, patience, and encouragement, your baby can learn a wide variety of tastes and textures in new foods. Good food habits start in infancy.
Your baby still should be drinking breast milk or 24 ounces of iron-fortified formula each day.
This game teaches your baby that things don’t disappear just because they are not in sight and how to get information from words. Games like this are playful ways to strengthen and help develop the nerve connections in your baby’s brain!
Let’s say that your baby starts to crawl up some stairs. He gets halfway up, turns around, and tries to come back down. It’s a long way down. He doesn’t know how to do it. He starts to howl and have a temper tantrum. Or your baby wants to have a cookie or play with your watch. He doesn’t get what he wants and lies on the floor kicking and screaming. Should you punish him and scream back?
Tantrums are hard to deal with, but punishment and yelling are not the answers. Here are some guidelines:
About 80 percent of all accidental poisonings involving children happen to those between 10 and 36 months. The poisons swallowed are usually household items such as detergents, cosmetics, and furniture polish and health products such as vitamin pills and aspirin.
Now is a good time to recheck your kitchen and bathroom.
If your baby does swallow something, try to find out what it was. Then immediately call your doctor, the nearest hospital emergency room, or the Kentucky Regional Poison Center (1-800-222-1222) for advice. This is also the phone number of The National Poison Control Center. If you have to take him for treatment, take the container of whatever he swallowed with you.
Poison proofing your kitchen and bathroom may be hard, but saving your child’s life is worth the inconvenience.
Birch, Leann (1999). Development of food preferences. Annual Review of Nutrition 19: 41-62.
Birckmayer, Jennifer, Kathryn Mabb, Bonnie Jo Westendorf, and Jerridith Wilson (1996). Teens as parents of babies and toddlers: A resource guide for educators. Ithaca, New York: Cornell Cooperative Extension Service.
Brazelton, T. Berry, M.D. (1992). Touchpoints: Your child’s emotional and behavioral development. Reading, Massachusetts: Addison-Wesley.
Gnatuk, Carole A. and Sam Quick (2000). Keys to great parenting: Teach self-control, Key No.6. Lexington, Kentucky: Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service.
Greenspan, Stanley, M.D. (1999). Building healthy minds. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Perseus Books.
Herr, Judy and Terri Swim (1999). Creative resources for infants and toddlers. Albany, New York: Delmar.
Honig, Alice Sterling (1997). Behavior guidance for infants and toddlers. Little Rock, Arkansas: Southern Early Childhood Association.
Lerner, Claire and Amy Laura Dombro (2000). Learning and growing together: Understanding and supporting your child’s development. Washington, D.C.: Zero to Three. Phone: 1-800-899-4301.
Pruett, Kyle D. (2000). Fatherneed: Why father care is as essential as mother care for your child. Washington, D.C.: Zero to Three. Phone: 1-800-899-4301.
Schickedanz, Judith A. (1999). Much more than the ABC’s: The early stages of reading and writing. Washington, D.C.: National Association for the Education of Young Children.
Sears, William and Martha Sears (1995). The discipline book: Everything you need to know to have a better behaved child—from birth to age 10. Boston: Little, Brown, and Co.
Shelov, Steven P., M.D., M.S., F.A.A.P. (editor in chief) (1998). Your baby’s first year. New York: Bantam Books/American Academy of Pediatrics.
Shore, Rima (1997). Rethinking the brain. New York: Families and Work Institute.
Snow, Charles W. (1998). Infant development (2nd ed.). Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Prentice Hall.
Carole A. Gnatuk, Ed.D., Extension Child Development Specialist
Sam Quick, Ph.D., Extension Human Development and Family Relations Specialist
Sandra Bastin, Ph.D., R.D., L.D., Extension Food and Nutrition Specialist
From a publication originally written by Dorothea Cudaback, D.S.W., and colleagues at the University of California Cooperative Extension. Professionals at the University of Kentucky who have assisted in the preparation of the Parent Express series:
Sandra Bastin, Ph.D., R.D., L.D.; Donna Clore, M.S.; Ruth Ann Crum, M.S.; Darlene Forester, Ph.D., R.D.; Starr Gantz, R.D.; Carole Gnatuk, Ed.D.; Peter Hesseldenz, M.A.; Janet Kurzynske, Ph.D., R.D.; Suzanne McGough, M.S., R.D.; Larry Piercy, Ph.D.; Sam Quick, Ph.D.; Michael Rupured, M.S.; Diane Strangis, M.S.; Janet Tietyen, Ph.D., R.D., L.D.
Parent Express guides you through parenting of children through age 36 months. For other publications in the 27-part series, contact your county Cooperative Extension Service office.