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Your baby learns most things from you, especially about love.
Babies, just like adults, need love and attention. Rewarding your baby with a smile, a hug, or a kiss is better than rewarding her with a new toy. Your baby will know she is loved, and she needs that knowledge to stimulate the chemicals in her brain that strengthen her ability to learn and grow. With your support, she will feel she can tackle anything.
Some parents may be tempted to start toilet training too soon. Training probably will be easier on everyone if you wait until daily bowel movements are regular, and your child can tell you her needs in words and gestures.
If you have an active baby, you may notice a slowing down of weight gain. That’s because your baby is using more calories for his constant activity. The fact that your baby may not be gaining as much weight as before doesn’t mean that he is not healthy. A fat baby is not necessarily a healthy baby. At this age, babies should be developing muscle tissue, not fat.
Worrying about what your baby eats or does not eat only makes both of you nervous. Don’t expect your baby to clean his plate or to eat just one more mouthful. Trust him to be the best judge of how much to eat. If, over a period of a few days he gets a good variety of foods, his nutritional intake will be adequate.
As your baby moves around to explore his world, he will discover a new independence. He may be eager to try out this new independence by insisting on feeding himself. Or he may be a little scared by his new abilities and may cling to you at mealtimes. He may even refuse to hold his cup or spoon and demand to be fed.
Whether your baby is a clinger or a self-feeder, be calm and patient. It will pay off in fewer feeding problems both now and later.
Your baby still should be drinking breast milk or 24 ounces of iron-fortified formula each day.
Most parents of 11-month-olds go through the “no-no’s” at this age. Sometimes it will seem like you’re always telling your baby what not to do. No wonder—the 11-month-old loves her independence as she moves around and touches more things than ever before, so discipline becomes part of the daily routine.
What is discipline? It is something that you do for and with your child—and not to her. It is setting up a reasonable balance of limits to teach your child what is and is not acceptable. Discipline also is letting her know that though you may disapprove of what she did, you still love her.
To handle discipline problems, anticipate what your child will do, divert her attention to something else, substitute or remove the object, and be firm in saying no.
Your baby may continue to do something that is a no-no just to get attention. It becomes a game. She crawls to a forbidden object and turns around to look at you. You say no but she reaches out to touch it anyway. You get angry and say no again. She reaches again, waiting for your no, and so the game goes on.
Solution: Take the object away, replace it with something your baby can have, or take her away from the forbidden area and give her some attention. A little tenderness goes a long way.
Babies at this age also like to shake their heads while saying no. They delight in swinging their heads from side to side and love the head movement. They may even say no to things they enjoy, such as taking a bath, eating dinner, or getting dressed to go out. Don’t be alarmed at this negativism. It’s all part of growing up and becoming more independent.
This game teaches your baby to crawl to get things and find out about them.
Move things away from and back to your baby while he watches. This helps your baby see that distance may affect how things look, but it doesn’t change their size.
Time is a valuable resource. You can control your use of time or let time control you. It all depends on how you make use of your time. To make the most of your time:
My 3-year-old niece lives with us. She sometimes hits the baby and seems to hate her. What should I do?
Now that your 11-month-old is crawling and moving around, the older child may regard her as a threat. She gets into her things, takes you away, and to her sometimes is a pest and an intruder.
Your niece was attention-getter around the house until her cousin was born. She now needs to be reassured and told that she still is loved and cared for. You also should make it clear to her that certain behaviors, such as hitting her cousin, are not acceptable. When she does hit the baby, physically stop her, move her out of the situation, or hold her while you explain why she can’t hit.
It might help if you spend some time alone with the older child, free from distractions and free from your baby. You can give her your complete attention and do whatever she would like to do. You can plan the time around your baby’s nap time or for the evening. Stimulating your niece’s interest in other things such as play activities or friends also will help occupy her time.
Eleven to 12-month-old babies are able to use their hands with more precision, and they can usually hold small books with stiff pages and bring them to you to read.
Select books for your baby with simple, colorful pictures of familiar objects and events. Sit on the floor with your baby or hold her on your lap. Focus your baby’s attention by saying, “Look at that!” Then point to a picture and ask, “What’s that?” Wait for your baby to respond by a sound, a gesture, or a facial expression. Praise her for responding, then label the object correctly. Speak clearly and slowly. You’re helping your baby learn language and showing her you love her.
Birckmayer, Jennifer, Kathryn Mabb, Bonnie Jo Westendorf, and Jerridith Wilson (1996). Teens as parents of babies and toddlers: A resource guide for educators. Ithaca, New York: Cornell Cooperative Extension Service.
Brazelton, T. Berry, M.D. (1992). Touchpoints: Your child’s emotional and behavioral development. Reading, Massachusetts: Addison-Wesley.
Gnatuk, Carole A. and Sam Quick (2000). Keys to great parenting: Teach self-control, Key No.6. Lexington, Kentucky: Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service.
Greenspan, Stanley, M.D. (1999). Building healthy minds. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Perseus Books.
Herr, Judy and Terri Swim (1999). Creative resources for infants and toddlers. Albany, New York: Delmar.
Honig, Alice Sterling (1997). Behavior guidance for Infants and toddlers. Little Rock, Arkansas: Southern Early Childhood Association.
Lerner, Claire and Amy Laura Dombro (2000). Learning and growing together: Understanding and supporting your child’s development. Washington, D.C.: Zero to Three. Phone: 1-800-899-4301.
Pruett, Kyle D. (2000). Fatherneed: Why father care is as essential as mother care for your child. Washington, D.C.: Zero to Three. Phone: 1-800-899-4301.
Schickedanz, Judith A. (1999). Much more than the ABC’s: The early stages of reading and writing. Washington, D.C.: National Association for the Education of Young Children.
Sears, William and Martha Sears (1995). The discipline book: Everything you need to know to have a better behaved child—From birth to age 10. Boston: Little, Brown, and Co.
Shelov, Steven P., M.D., M.S., F.A.A.P. (editor in chief) (1998). Your baby’s first year. New York: Bantam Books/American Academy of Pediatrics.
Shore, Rima (1997). Rethinking the brain. New York: Families and Work Institute.
Snow, Charles W. (1998). Infant development (2nd ed.). Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Prentice Hall.
Carole A. Gnatuk, Ed.D., Extension Child Development Specialist
Sam Quick, Ph.D., Extension Human Development and Family Relations Specialist
Sandra Bastin, Ph.D., R.D., L.D., Extension Food and Nutrition Specialist
From a publication originally written by Dorothea Cudaback, D.S.W., and colleagues at the University of California Cooperative Extension. Professionals at the University of Kentucky who have assisted in the preparation of the Parent Express series:
Sandra Bastin, Ph.D., R.D., L.D.; Donna Clore, M.S.; Ruth Ann Crum, M.S.; Darlene Forester, Ph.D., R.D.; Starr Gantz, R.D.; Carole Gnatuk, Ed.D.; Peter Hesseldenz, M.A.; Janet Kurzynske, Ph.D., R.D. Suzanne McGough, M.S., R.D.; Larry Piercy, Ph.D.; Sam Quick, Ph.D.; Michael Rupured, M.S.; Diane Strangis, M.S.
Parent Express guides you through parenting of children through age 36 months. For other publications in the 27-part series, contact your county Cooperative Extension Service office.