Keeping a Beautiful Memory Alive

By Grace Gorrell

When my 25-year-old coworker, Charlie, and I sit down together, he talks about how many of his friends’ weddings he attended in the last year; I seem to talk about how many funerals of my friends’ parents I have attended. The circle of life is truly an interesting one, with many twists and turns along the way.

At age 43, I became a middle-aged orphan when my mother passed away last fall. I had been blessed with two wonderful parents who were perfect role models. Now I face one of the biggest challenges I have ever undertaken — carrying on their beliefs to the next generation.
I was truly overwhelmed by the level of support I received from alumni, friends, and coworkers from throughout the state and country, a testament to the tremendous College of Agriculture family. That same sense of family led me to apply for a job with the College over 21 years ago.
My father, Paul Gray, was a county Extension agent for agriculture for more than 30 years; he also was an alumnus of the College of Agriculture. His occupation wasn’t just his job; it was his hobby, too. He loved what he did and those he worked with.
Thanks to our family farm, my mother was able to stay at home to raise my sister and me while Dad spent his days, nights, and weekends helping the people of Franklin and Owen Counties.

When I was a senior in college, my father was diagnosed with cancer. While in intensive care, he averaged over 30 visitors a day. People from all walks of life came to see him. They always said, “Paul Gray is my friend,” and then shared the many things my father had helped them accomplish.
At that time I decided to become an Extension agent. I thought it would be wonderful to have a job that I enjoyed and in which I could help people improve their lives. As my father told me, “You may not become rich at the bank, but you will never miss a paycheck and the rewards will be immeasurable.”

About five years ago, my mother sold the farm that had been in our family for more than 100 years. That same farm — thanks to the profits from the sale of corn, tobacco, and cattle — had put my sister and me through college with no bills to pay when we graduated.
The profits from the sale of the farm were invested to put her grandchildren through college. Then my mother sent a check to the College of Agriculture and asked me to decide how the money should be used. We decided that since it was the farm that had put two children of an Extension agent through college, it would be fitting for the Shan Stone and Paul H. Gray Scholarship Endowment Fund to help children of Extension agents attend the UK College of Agriculture.

In my current position as coordinator of the Ag Alumni Association, I have worked with many people in helping them establish scholarships in the College but, thanks to my parents, I now get to see how truly wonderful it feels to be a donor. The scholarship has given my sister and me a means to remember our parents and have their names and their belief in helping others live forever.

Thanks to many friends, we will soon have a bench and tree placed in my mother’s name at the UK Arboretum. As we sit on the bench, I will be able to tell my daughter many wonderful stories about the two people who taught me how to make this world a better place.
I hope some day each of you can find a way to share the memories of the special people in your life. It is truly the best gift you will ever give to yourself.